In Honor of National Boyfriend Day I thought I would tell my story about my boyfriends and how they inadvertently sent me to therapy.
LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING
One would think that I am confident. In fact, I am quite outgoing, I will talk to anyone, I wear my pajamas in public and velour jumpsuits from 1992. I am confident in many ways but dating has never been one of them.
Oh sure, when I would meet a boy, I would start out confident knowing that I was a great catch. I am smart, semi-funny, like to drink beer and act like a guy (most of the time). But then, as soon as I really start to like someone (which wasn’t that often), something would happen. I started doubting my greatness, I start comparing myself to other girls, I start thinking that everyone is such a better catch than me and just overall start feeling very insecure.
I haven’t had many real relationships (I can count them on one hand) but here’s basically a run down on how they went …
FALLING IN LOVE
Then I met Hancy. (well I met him years before but he never hit my radar until years later). I started to seriously like this kid and I KNEW. I knew without a doubt I didn’t want to F this relationship up. I didn’t want to put myself through the mental anguish or subject this poor innocent soul to this mental torture. I knew I had to get help. I knew it was time to figure out why I acted like I was left at the altar. (when in fact I hadn’t been). I knew I had to get to the root of this issue so that I didn’t screw up what I thought could be “THE ONE” (spoiler alert, he was!).
WORKING ON MYSELF
So I started therapy and even though I never really found the root of the problem I did gain insight and techniques to figure out why I was feeling the way I was. I learned methods on how to ask myself pertinent questions when I was doubting myself and learned how not to put blame on him for my crap. I learned new ways of thinking and gained some inner peace.
Therapy along with Hancy’s love and faithfulness helped me get to the place I am today. I trust him 110% and more often than not I tell him to go out and have fun while I sit on the couch and drink wine and read (I know, I talk a lot but I do love my alone time).
DO NOT BE ASHAMED!
Therapy isn’t something that we should feel ashamed about. It is a form of self care and we deserve to feel healthy and happy and free. It is amazing to have a neutral party to bounce ideas and thoughts off. It’s very cathartic and freeing to just spew every random thought you have to a human being that you won’t encounter on a daily basis and that is also bound by confidentiality to keep your secrets (and craziness) safe.
Remember health is wealth people and mental health is even more important than our physical health. The mind is a powerful thing and can take us down faster than cancer. So even if you don’t think you need a therapist reconsider. Think how it would feel to have a confidant and someone to give you advice that won’t judge you. You never know how that person can change your thoughts and subsequently your life.
Take care of yourself so that you can be fully present for others. Help yourself so that you can shine like the person you were meant to be!!