• Menu
  • Skip to right header navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Before Header

You’ve got to move it move it!! Carpe Diem people. Get up, get out and get moving! You’ve got this!!

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Organize. Create. Discover.

Header Left

website logo 365x120 1
  • About Brie
  • Blog
  • Organize
  • Create
    • Crock-Pot
    • Instant Pot
    • Air Fryer
    • Gluten-Free
    • Vegetarian
    • Pescetarian
    • Breakfast
    • Soup
    • Salad
    • Main
    • Side Dish
    • Dessert
  • Discover
  • Health
  • Search

Header Left

website logo 365x120 1
  • About Brie
  • Blog
  • Organize
  • Create
    • Crock-Pot
    • Instant Pot
    • Air Fryer
    • Gluten-Free
    • Vegetarian
    • Pescetarian
    • Breakfast
    • Soup
    • Salad
    • Main
    • Side Dish
    • Dessert
  • Discover
  • Health
  • Search
All PostsHome / All Posts / Saying Goodbye

Saying Goodbye

disclosure: may contain affiliate links

February 8, 2019 By //  by Brie OCD 12 Comments

saying goodbye“It’s the emptiest and yet the fullest of all human messages: ‘Good-bye.’” ―Kurt Vonnegut

My grandmother is not doing well. Apparently there is nothing anyone can do and they are just trying to “make her comfortable” till the end.  I just spoke with her on the phone and I don’t know how to say goodbye and tell her all the things I want to tell her without acting like she is already gone.

SAYING GOODBYE

I struggled with the same thing the last time I spoke with my uncle. He was battling cancer and when I spoke with him he didn’t have his death papers signed but I had a feeling that it might be the last time I spoke with him. I wanted to tell him so many things. I wanted to tell him that he was the best uncle growing up. That he always looked out for me and made me laugh (and scared sometimes – Gaulin’s have a way of reacting instead of responding all through gritted teeth, then 2 minutes later we are all soft and trying to backtrack LOL). That he never made me feel out of place at the dinner table when I didn’t want to eat whatever everyone was eating (I was extremely picky). That his “dance moves” are still burned into my memory. I wanted to tell him that he was a such a loving and supportive uncle, father and husband. That he was loyal to a fault and that everyone knew and appreciated all of the sacrifices he made for his family. But I couldn’t. Instead, I just told him that I loved him and hoped that he heard all of the things I couldn’t say.

uncle joe and fam 80s
uncle joe and fam 90s
uncle joe and siblings
uncle joe and siblings on his last bday (missing Aunt Dot)
uncle joe square1
uncle joe
fam with uncle joe
fam with uncle joe

MY GRAM

So when my grandma called me today (by way of my sister) to tell me that she was “feeling better”, once again, I wanted to spill all of my thoughts but I couldn’t. How do I tell someone who is still living and fighting that I think this might be my last chance to tell them how much I appreciate and love them?

How do I tell them thank you for teaching me the value of a dollar. Thank you for teaching me to be frugal some places so that you can spend it others. Hell, to pick the mold off the bread and just eat what’s left so that you have some money to travel to China, Alaska, or anywhere in the world. Thank you, for tricking me into eating that Lender’s onion bagel that day because it made me realize that there were so many other things I said I didn’t like that I probably did! Thank you for crushing up my pills in orange juice so that I could swallow them without gagging and crying. Thank you for being a workhorse and showing us that we don’t need to rely on anyone but ourselves. Thank you for being a tough but loving grandma who taught me how to be a strong independent woman but one who could also dote on their husband/family after a long day at work.

It’s impossible. I couldn’t do it. Instead I said, “you know that I love you, right gram?”

me jaime and gram b
Me, Gram, Jaime in Matunuck
img 0188
Eskimo Gram – photo cred Shayna
gram baby me in matunuck
Baby, Gram and Me in Matunuck
gram b drinking wine
Gram B drinking her Wine Spritzer

REDMANred and fam

Less than  a year ago I got the call while I was en route to Australia that Red, my late grandma’s boyfriend was in hospice. Now Red wasn’t technically my grandfather by blood but he had been in my life and a grandfather figure since I was about 7 years old.  It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had spoken to him a couple weeks before and told him I loved him before hanging up but did I say it enough? Did he truly hear me? I called him from one of our layovers in Australia but he was sleeping so the nurses wouldn’t let me speak to him. I cried in the airport. I tried again later that night and made them put the cell phone to his ear. I yelled through tears, I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU RED! He couldn’t speak back but I hope and prayed that he knew how much he meant to me. How much it meant to me that he cared for my grandmother all those years. How much his comic relief brightened my day. How his love for Jerry Springer and other white trash television warmed my heart. I hope he heard me. I hope he knew.

UNSPOKEN WORDS

This past year has been rough with multiple close family members passing. It’s been tough and even more so because I am on the West Coast. I am not there to say goodbye and look into their eyes and tell them how much they meant to me. I know deep down that they know, but it still doesn’t make it any easier. So as I write this, I sob and I hope that I have done enough over the years to let the people who mean the most to me know that I love them and I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without their love and guidance.

Filed Under: All Posts, Blog Tagged With: dealing with loss, dealing with the loss of family, death of a family member, grief, how do you say goodbye to family, how do you say goodbye to loved ones, how to handle grief, overcoming the death of a loved one, saying goodbye

Previous Post: «chicken fajita chili w. web address Crock-Pot: Chicken Fajita Chili
Next Post: Instant Pot: Chicken Parmesan instant pot chicken parm insta 1»

Reader Interactions

 

Comments

  1. kevin

    February 8, 2019 at 11:27 pm

    i dont why i found you site through a dream i hade last night .

    Reply
    • Brie OCD

      February 9, 2019 at 6:27 am

      wow. i love it. not sure what the dream was about but it was meant to be. hope all is well

      Reply
  2. Linda

    February 9, 2019 at 8:54 am

    Hi Brie,
    I’m sure your Gram knows how much you love her. Just being with her, holding her hand will be a comfort for your Gram and yourself. Prayers for your Gram and thinking of you.

    Reply
    • Brie OCD

      February 9, 2019 at 2:30 pm

      Thank you Linda! unfortunately I live all the way across the country but I did get to see her at christmas. Trying to see if I can fly back anyday now.

      Reply
  3. Momma Wen

    February 9, 2019 at 1:21 pm

    That was absolutely Beautiful , Brie ! And I think you SHOULD tell her all of that stuff! She would be very touched by all your heartfelt memories with her. And if you feel you will be too emotional to say it to her without falling apart… Write her a letter that someone can read to her. It will make her smile for sure and give her a few laughs too , remembering all she did with you. Tell her you never got to tell Uncle Joe all the things you wanted to because you thought you would see him again… But tomorrow is promised to no-one. .. (We almost lost you in that bike accident…) You just want her to know everything you feel now!
    My sister wrote a beautiful tribute to My dad… “Goodol” and read it to him on one of his birthdays. He laughed and said “Am I Dying?” she said No! I just want you to know how I feel now! I Dont want to wait till something DOES happens and I am reading it to everybody else. I want YOU to hear how I feel about you NOW!
    He got up from the table , with tears in his eyes and walked over and gave her a big hug !❤
    Tell her Brie.
    Love you Baby Girl! Xoxo Momma When❤🐭

    Reply
    • Brie OCD

      February 9, 2019 at 2:29 pm

      thank you! and you have me laughing about Good Ol! LOL
      Love you and thanks for sharing! xo

      Reply
  4. Susan

    February 9, 2019 at 10:42 pm

    Brie,
    Bawling my eyes out. Beautifully said. I never want to wait. You should tell her of course she will laugh at the frugality. My favorite Barbara comment was when I was getting married. “Keep your husband’s ass dragging so he can’t pick it up and take it someplace else” 😂😂❤❤
    I love you and you are an amazing woman.

    Reply
    • Brie OCD

      February 10, 2019 at 6:53 am

      ahahahaha, sounds like Barbara! love you more!

      Reply
  5. Maryann

    February 10, 2019 at 6:19 am

    Beautifully said Brie! You have touched my heart and I thank you for that today! I am sure your loved ones know how much they mean to you and your actions thru out your life have showed them time and time again. You have a way of letting people know how much they are loved!
    M

    Reply
    • Brie OCD

      February 10, 2019 at 6:50 am

      Thank you Maryann! You as well. xoxo

      Reply
  6. April Rose

    February 11, 2019 at 9:52 pm

    Breezy, your family is strong. Gramma G bred a good batch. She should know who she was to us. She should hear you. Love you…

    Reply
    • Brie OCD

      February 12, 2019 at 8:38 am

      love you! xo

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • Best NA Beers
  • Best Computer Bag for Women
  • Winc Wine Subscription: How it Works
  • How to Make a Mexican Mule
  • Fujitsu ix1500 Scanner Review

Enter your email to get healthy!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Footer

Be The Best Version of You!

Health is wealth. Stay organized, eat healthy and live life to the fullest!

Recent Posts

  • Best NA Beers
  • Best Computer Bag for Women
  • Winc Wine Subscription: How it Works
  • How to Make a Mexican Mule
  • Fujitsu ix1500 Scanner Review

Site Footer

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • About Brie
  • Blog
  • Organize
  • Create
  • Discover
  • Health
  • Search

Brie O.C.D. © Copyright 2018 · Privacy Policy · Log in